I have somewhat neglected my blog throughout the festive period and the New Year due to family commitments and returning to work. Before I had realised it three weeks have gone and no one has heard from me.
I promise that this is not a bad thing, it’s a good sign. You see, I only feel really compelled to blog when things are going badly, when I’m feeling at my most desperate, then I have to get my thoughts and feelings out to help me deal with them but I don’t feel like that presently.
One of the bi-products that I have always discussed of my blog is being able to help others through my experiences and from some of the feedback I have had this seems to have come to fruition. So really I am writing this post for the people that are going through the same and following my progress, I would hate to just disappear and their imaginations run riot as to what is going on.
So how are things going?
Pretty well to be honest. In my previous blogs I mentioned my visit to the doctors to see if I was depressed and it turned out, as I had thought, that I was just exhausted. I have since been back to them as they wanted to monitor me,to make sure I didn’t slip into depression and this went well, they are happy that my mental health is good and that I am equipped to do this. They now only need to see me if I feel I need them.
Things at home are much better. My partner and I have a lot more understanding of each other through this whole process and this has bought a calmer atmosphere into the house. The roles are more balanced and I realise I don’t need to be some type of Superdad, I work long hours and most evenings he is now asleep before I get home so we have our evenings to ourself. My partner is more involved in our boys routine during this time and then, when I get time off of work, I take over to give her a break.
We are now managing to go out together and these outings are becoming more and more stress free, I admit to getting more stressed than her when he whines and cries but this is because she spends more time with him so I am sure I will learn to relax in time. We have yet to go out on our own but that is coming.
The main thing that has struck me was how quickly things have changed. 11 weeks ago I was at the lowest point in my life, I felt trapped and desperate, I couldn’t see how life would ever be enjoyable again. As much as everyone kept telling me things would be ok, I wanted to believe them, but I couldn’t see how they could be right. But they were right, I know that now.
As for my boy, he is wonderful! I now understand what people mean when they say the troubles of the world disappear when you see your baby. I’ve yet to experience the excited screams of ‘daddy’ when I get home from work but to see his little face light up and his smile beam across his face when we first get him up in the morning is giving me a little taste of what I have to look forward to.
I am not naive enough to believe that it will all be a bed of roses, every stage of his life will bring me plenty of new challenges and I am sure I will have plenty to blog about in the future but I am ready for that, well at lot more prepared than I was 11 months ago! So bring on the teething, the tantrums, the terrible twos through to the teenage years and beyond, I’m ready for ya!
In all seriousness, if you are going through anything like I was I promise you that you will come out of the other side a stronger, wiser person, just keep talking, don’t bottle it up. Twitter and this blog have been a great outlet for me and I am sure they will continue to be. Never feel that you have no one to talk to, I have been shocked and touched by the time and kindness complete strangers will give you. I can be found on here it in twitter and am happy to talk to anyone who feels they need a sympathetic ear.